Future Fat Ass

This past weekend my grandmother told Mate that he was "fattening up". Meanwhile she exclaimed over how skinny I am. Both Mate and I know that this is not true, that in fact I have started buying pants a size bigger to accomodate my largening butt. However the important thing is that to the outside observer, my eating habits have not hurt me any. Still, we both need to go to the gym more to counteract any effects of "blog research".

Something else that happened last weekend is that Mate retired THE Benchmark by which all restaurants are judged. That benchmark is...The Outback Special. The Outback Special is the perfect restaurant meal. What I mean by this is, it tastes exactly as good as the amount it costs. Therefore its taste to cost index is 100. You get a decent steak, salad and side dish for under $13. Mate decided that this would be the meal by which he judged all other meals at all other restaurants. So when we're eating at a new place we ask ourselves, "Is this as good as the Outback Special?" If the answer is yes, and the price is less than the Outback Special, then we've found a new haunt. If the answer is no, and it's more expensive, then this restaurant is damned to hell for all eternity. You get the idea.

Imagine how discouraged we were to arrive at Outback in Gainesville, FL on Saturday only to find that the Outback Special now costs...sit down...$15.49!!!! Naturally, this throws off the whole titration level. The Special was certainly as good as $13, but nearly $16? We just can't agree with that. So now we're wandering, lost, on the lookout for that ultimate, tasty, mid-priced meal by which to judge all other meals. Because we love to judge. We're judging you right now.

I'm open for suggestions.