Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Non-food related (but necessary)
You people should have seen Tina last night. Picture it...a dark, smokey room. Several hundred screaming rednecks/graffitists/giant pant wearers. And Tine at the very front of them all, hugging a large speaker and gazing soulfully into the eyes of the love of her life, Slug. That's right, SLUG. The lead singer of Atmosphere whose name, as Tine informed me, is an acronym for Sean Loves Ugly Girls. Which will make Tina's married name Carly Loves Ugly Girls. Or Clug.
Now I like Atmosphere a lot and agree that it was one hell of a concert. But for Tine, it was a major life event, and if you ever go with her to an Atmosphere concert you should be prepared to accompany her on her journey. So I'm going to give you a list of survival tactics, just in case you find yourself in this same situation.
1. Be ready to fight. Tine WILL be in the front row at all costs. You know who else wants to be there? Every trashy hooker this side of Minneapolis. Just remember, you are a granite column and you cannot be moved, even by flailing lit cigarettes and bleached ponytails flying at your face.
2. Bring marijuana. After watching a be-dreadlocked hippy chick pass Slug a fresh fat bud, Tine was sorry she hadn't thought to bring along some similar offerings to sacrifice to the God of Spit and Sex.
3. Don't drink too much. Once you are in the front, YOU ARE IN THE FRONT. Under no circumstances are you to leave to pee, so maybe the better idea would be to invest in some Depends. Trust me, wet jeans will be worth it to watch the looks of rapture on Tina's face.
4. Finally, bring plastic baggies and duck tape. After Slug touches Tine's hand, she will want to wrap the hand well and seal it off so that she may preserve the touch as long as possible, and not wear it off by touching something else or even worse, washing it.
If you follow these rules, I guarantee you will not only enjoy what is pretty much one of the best hip hop concerts I've been to, you will also enjoy countless hours of watching our Tina swoon. You might even develop a little crush yourself. Just call me Mlug.
Now I like Atmosphere a lot and agree that it was one hell of a concert. But for Tine, it was a major life event, and if you ever go with her to an Atmosphere concert you should be prepared to accompany her on her journey. So I'm going to give you a list of survival tactics, just in case you find yourself in this same situation.
1. Be ready to fight. Tine WILL be in the front row at all costs. You know who else wants to be there? Every trashy hooker this side of Minneapolis. Just remember, you are a granite column and you cannot be moved, even by flailing lit cigarettes and bleached ponytails flying at your face.
2. Bring marijuana. After watching a be-dreadlocked hippy chick pass Slug a fresh fat bud, Tine was sorry she hadn't thought to bring along some similar offerings to sacrifice to the God of Spit and Sex.
3. Don't drink too much. Once you are in the front, YOU ARE IN THE FRONT. Under no circumstances are you to leave to pee, so maybe the better idea would be to invest in some Depends. Trust me, wet jeans will be worth it to watch the looks of rapture on Tina's face.
4. Finally, bring plastic baggies and duck tape. After Slug touches Tine's hand, she will want to wrap the hand well and seal it off so that she may preserve the touch as long as possible, and not wear it off by touching something else or even worse, washing it.
If you follow these rules, I guarantee you will not only enjoy what is pretty much one of the best hip hop concerts I've been to, you will also enjoy countless hours of watching our Tina swoon. You might even develop a little crush yourself. Just call me Mlug.
# posted by Mooks @ 6:20 AM 
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OH cricky. I can just picture this scene. I remeber when Tine tried to get me to go see Atmosphere in Gainesville. I didn't make it.
Thanks A. I'm no Wife, but I want our girl to be happy and if that results in me dancing my heart out to a giant Albino rapper during the opening act, all the better.
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