Monday, July 10, 2006
ZZZZZZZ
Jeez people. I hadn't even realized how long it had been since I posted. All three of you readers must have given up on me. Tine and I have been hella busy at work. But as long as I have a minute...
This weekend I was thinking how the only thing I like as much as eating is sleeping. Then I was thinking how when I eat, I have very few rules. I'll pretty much try anything, and I like most foods. I'm the antithesis of a picky eater and if I find out you are a very picky eater I secretly think less of you. This even applies to people I'm married to. But when I think about it, I have the same finicky sensibilities when it comes to sleeping as a lot of people do for eating. I'm what you call a Picky Sleeper. Case in point:
1. I cannot sleep facing another person. If we are facing each other, we are trying to breathe the same air, and clearly there will not be enough to air to share in the small space between our noses. Also, your breath is warm. Also, I am obviously going to be breathing in the carbon dioxide that you are breathing out which can't be good. In conclusion, sleeping face to face=lack of good oxygen=smothering to death in my sleep. I'll just turn my head the other way, thanks. As an added transgression, you might wake up and stare at me while I sleep and then I might wake up and see you staring at me and that would be scary.
2. My legs have to be arranged in the flamingo position. This is one leg out straight, one leg bent at the knee, toe to opposite knee. For you former ballerinas, this is also called pique. If you're wondering how I spoon in that position, I don't. Spooning while sleeping makes me feel physically oppressed. We can cuddle for a bit, then you have to get away from me so that I can arrange my legs.
3. None of my limbs can hang over the side of the bed. An arm flung carelessly over the side is an invitation to the monsters/clowns/homocidal maniacs that might be hiding under there to gnaw my fingers off or pull me into their lair by the arm, where they will cut me into small pieces. In fact, I prefer my arms to be tucked underneath my body to alleviate all opportunity for this.
The upside of all this is that sleeping with me is like sleeping alone. I won't breathe on you, steal covers, or even cross the invisible line down the middle of the bed. If you are a picky sleeper too, you'll appreciate that. If you're not a picky sleeper, well, secretly I think less of you.
This weekend I was thinking how the only thing I like as much as eating is sleeping. Then I was thinking how when I eat, I have very few rules. I'll pretty much try anything, and I like most foods. I'm the antithesis of a picky eater and if I find out you are a very picky eater I secretly think less of you. This even applies to people I'm married to. But when I think about it, I have the same finicky sensibilities when it comes to sleeping as a lot of people do for eating. I'm what you call a Picky Sleeper. Case in point:
1. I cannot sleep facing another person. If we are facing each other, we are trying to breathe the same air, and clearly there will not be enough to air to share in the small space between our noses. Also, your breath is warm. Also, I am obviously going to be breathing in the carbon dioxide that you are breathing out which can't be good. In conclusion, sleeping face to face=lack of good oxygen=smothering to death in my sleep. I'll just turn my head the other way, thanks. As an added transgression, you might wake up and stare at me while I sleep and then I might wake up and see you staring at me and that would be scary.
2. My legs have to be arranged in the flamingo position. This is one leg out straight, one leg bent at the knee, toe to opposite knee. For you former ballerinas, this is also called pique. If you're wondering how I spoon in that position, I don't. Spooning while sleeping makes me feel physically oppressed. We can cuddle for a bit, then you have to get away from me so that I can arrange my legs.
3. None of my limbs can hang over the side of the bed. An arm flung carelessly over the side is an invitation to the monsters/clowns/homocidal maniacs that might be hiding under there to gnaw my fingers off or pull me into their lair by the arm, where they will cut me into small pieces. In fact, I prefer my arms to be tucked underneath my body to alleviate all opportunity for this.
The upside of all this is that sleeping with me is like sleeping alone. I won't breathe on you, steal covers, or even cross the invisible line down the middle of the bed. If you are a picky sleeper too, you'll appreciate that. If you're not a picky sleeper, well, secretly I think less of you.
# posted by Mooks @ 6:59 AM 
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Similar to your flamingo positioning, I have to sleep on my side with a pillow between my legs. This is a fairly recent development that's come up in the past few months or so, somewhere around the same time I started couch-sleeping on the regular.
I think the pillow is taking the place of something, but I can't really put my finger on it. Alright. Cheers Mooks. Let's bust this joint.
I think the pillow is taking the place of something, but I can't really put my finger on it. Alright. Cheers Mooks. Let's bust this joint.
I'm an alone sleeper as well, Mooks. Much due to the fact that AO likes to have the fan blowing at full speed directly on his face.
I'm a double offender: flamingo as well as pillow under arm/chin. When facing the other person, the pillow acts as an actual border rather than an invisible one, giving him a clear warning: this is my space. And spooning? Psh. That's for amateurs. Spooning inhibits the act of sleep as much as a street cleaning motor vehicle outside my window.
By the way A, since you and Tine are in a pretend-fight, I'll tell you who Jorge is. He's this guy that we encounter ocassionally for business purposes (I won't say anymore to protect the innocent), and Tine is wildly in love with him. He has a wife and three children, but Tine plans to become the trophy wife. You may also hear him referred to as "Jor, mi amor". A word to the wise, get her to recite to you her haiku.
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