Monday, August 14, 2006
Mooks: Bell's Palsy Poster Child
Hey, here's some bullshit for you. Remember in my last post how I said I couldn't taste on one side of my tongue? Which, just so we all understand the gravity of the situation, no sense of taste = Mooks's worst level of HELL. But I digress. So I thought that was a pretty crappy situation to be in. Turns out, it gets crappier! Please to read the following excerpt:
From WebMD, as diagnosed by Mr. Mooks, and Mother Mooks:
Bell's Palsy
Topic Overview
What is Bell's palsy?
Bell's palsy is a paralysis or weakness of the muscles on one side of your face. Damage to the facial nerve that controls muscles on one side of the face causes that side of your face to droop. The nerve damage may also affect your sense of taste and how you make tears and saliva. This condition comes on suddenly, often overnight, and usually gets better on its own within a few weeks.
That's right. I have a gimp face. Now that I've been a Bell's Palsy survivor for around 96 hours, I have to say that I'm really not satisfied with Web MD's (Dr. Web I call him) flippant and terse summation of my disease. I prefer to be thought of as "living with" Bell's as opposed to "suffering from" it. I've organized the following photographic journal to be submitted and subsequently added to the WebMD arsenal of knowledge about The Palsy. If I help one fellow BellFace, it will be worth it.
Symptom #1: Deadbeat Tastebuds, as seen here.
Symptom #2: Inability to kiss your man/woman/dog/back of your hand with BOTH sides of your lips.
Symptom #3: Scary, lop-sided laugh that makes all others stop laughing immediately and afix upon you a Look Of Concern.
Finally, Symptom #4: One eyelid that doesn't shut all the way. This is me blinking. It's also my contact lens begging you to set it free from this dry desert of an eyeball.
So now you know. Tomorrow I'm going to get a second opinion from my Real Life Doctor, whose first name is Mercedes, and yes that is why I go to her. I feel richer just going into her office. I want to thank you all for letting me use this forum to raise awareness about my condition. I'm here, my face looks queer, get used to it.
From WebMD, as diagnosed by Mr. Mooks, and Mother Mooks:
Bell's Palsy
Topic Overview
What is Bell's palsy?
Bell's palsy is a paralysis or weakness of the muscles on one side of your face. Damage to the facial nerve that controls muscles on one side of the face causes that side of your face to droop. The nerve damage may also affect your sense of taste and how you make tears and saliva. This condition comes on suddenly, often overnight, and usually gets better on its own within a few weeks.
That's right. I have a gimp face. Now that I've been a Bell's Palsy survivor for around 96 hours, I have to say that I'm really not satisfied with Web MD's (Dr. Web I call him) flippant and terse summation of my disease. I prefer to be thought of as "living with" Bell's as opposed to "suffering from" it. I've organized the following photographic journal to be submitted and subsequently added to the WebMD arsenal of knowledge about The Palsy. If I help one fellow BellFace, it will be worth it.
Symptom #1: Deadbeat Tastebuds, as seen here.
Symptom #2: Inability to kiss your man/woman/dog/back of your hand with BOTH sides of your lips.
Symptom #3: Scary, lop-sided laugh that makes all others stop laughing immediately and afix upon you a Look Of Concern.
Finally, Symptom #4: One eyelid that doesn't shut all the way. This is me blinking. It's also my contact lens begging you to set it free from this dry desert of an eyeball.
So now you know. Tomorrow I'm going to get a second opinion from my Real Life Doctor, whose first name is Mercedes, and yes that is why I go to her. I feel richer just going into her office. I want to thank you all for letting me use this forum to raise awareness about my condition. I'm here, my face looks queer, get used to it.
# posted by Mooks @ 3:08 PM 
Comments:
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Mooks, I wish you the best of luck with the Bells. It is pretty funny, though. Nice use of the webcam.
I got my wisdom teeth taken out 4 years ago and during the surgery they damaged one of the nerves around my tooth. The bottom right side of my mouth down to my chin still has very little feeling, however I'm learning to live with it. Some of my embarrassing symptoms include: unknowingly drooling, accidental leaving food on that side of my face for hours, and cutting my face shaving without knowing it. In conclusion, Mooks, I feel your pain (not really though cause Im still numb). Remember, you're not a nerve damage victim, you're a person living with nerve damage.
Yayson! All these years I've known you and I had no idea. Well that's too bad about your chin, but it's comforting to know I'm not the only one. Except at least you look normal- to add to the facial deformity, I have to wear my ugly glasses AND the doctor suggested I tape my eye closed at night!! I am a freak.
Mooks,
I'm sorry to hear your face is messed up. It's too bad, too, because you have pretty eyes. At least they're not lazy though. (Or at least not yet.)
I once drank too much and brought this boy home to make out with, much to one of my good girlfriend's chagrin. She had been trying to tell me something about him all night but I was too enraptured to listen.
When we got home, we cozied up on the couch, and before lips made contact, he asked me if I would "thuck it". When I declined, he asked if I would at least "kith it".
I faked an illness and shooed him out of my apartment.
At least you're not that guy, right?
-KA
I'm sorry to hear your face is messed up. It's too bad, too, because you have pretty eyes. At least they're not lazy though. (Or at least not yet.)
I once drank too much and brought this boy home to make out with, much to one of my good girlfriend's chagrin. She had been trying to tell me something about him all night but I was too enraptured to listen.
When we got home, we cozied up on the couch, and before lips made contact, he asked me if I would "thuck it". When I declined, he asked if I would at least "kith it".
I faked an illness and shooed him out of my apartment.
At least you're not that guy, right?
-KA
ka, where did YOU come from with this hilarious story of a failed attempt at hoothing up?
And Mooks, when I picture you with one eye taped shut, I can barely conceal my laughter from my cube neigbors.
And Mooks, when I picture you with one eye taped shut, I can barely conceal my laughter from my cube neigbors.
ka, thank you for the eye compliment and the hilarious story! upw, the husband had an excellent idea to circumvent the eye-taping: an eye mask for sleeping! It's perfect, it protects my eyeball and I look just like Carrie. You New Yorkers should invest in one.
Woo! Sorry - I haven't checked here in a few days (guilty as charged), but I am glad I could amuse with this story.
I might add that his name was Warren. I remember asking him - repeatedly - if he had seen my baseball, but he'd just give me a nervous laugh and keep inadvertently spitting in my face. Apparently someone had never seen "There's Something About Mary".
How thtupid, right?
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I might add that his name was Warren. I remember asking him - repeatedly - if he had seen my baseball, but he'd just give me a nervous laugh and keep inadvertently spitting in my face. Apparently someone had never seen "There's Something About Mary".
How thtupid, right?
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