Monday, September 18, 2006
Eat it.
So many of you know that my landlord is trying to sell the condo I'm living in. We've got this realtor, Paul, a fruity Southern gent with a big mouth and apparently, a big opinion about my personal hygiene and living space. I think the below e-mail from my landlord sums it up. I have never been so insulted. Read on:
Carly,
Paul called us about the loft. Before I start let me preface everything with I realize he is a bit over the top, so everything he says is being taken with a grain of salt. He is concerned with how the loft is showing. He took pictures and emailed them to me about the "mess and clutter". Some I agreed with and some I didn't. In order for us to keep you in the loft with such a low rent we really need you to keep the loft in pristine condition. That is the only way it is going to sell. I realize that you have to live there and it is a pain and difficult to always have it clean, but it really is necessary. The fridge needs to be wiped down and so does the stove and toaster. Please try not to leave any dirty dishes out. And most of all the bathtub must be clean everyday, including the jets in the tub which were brown. The key to selling to loft will be to have is clean and not cluttered. Paul is concerned with the clutter. We have a storage unit that you have access to if you want to move some of the things you aren't using up there. Or maybe you can tidy up the closet. The assets of the loft (tub, closet, size etc) aren't showing to there potential.
Again, I know that Paul is over the top, but he actually thinks that we have an easier time selling it if it were empty. Mike and I don't want that, we would much prefer to keep you there if possible. But the goal is to sell the loft as fast as possible. So let me know if you have a problem with any of this and we can talk about it. For now we will keep going with the month to month lease starting in November.
I appreciate your patience and efforts,
B
I like how "mess and clutter" is in parentheses, as if it's still an ALLEGED mess and clutter. And perhaps, if I get it cleaned up, it will be as if we never spoke of the mess and clutter in the first place. I spit in the face of this kind of humiliation.
And now - an FFA poll:
Tiney is, for the most part:
a) extremely clean and organized
b) is known to leave a towel on the floor on occasion
c) is a walking pigsty
Readers and friends, I let you be the judge.
Carly,
Paul called us about the loft. Before I start let me preface everything with I realize he is a bit over the top, so everything he says is being taken with a grain of salt. He is concerned with how the loft is showing. He took pictures and emailed them to me about the "mess and clutter". Some I agreed with and some I didn't. In order for us to keep you in the loft with such a low rent we really need you to keep the loft in pristine condition. That is the only way it is going to sell. I realize that you have to live there and it is a pain and difficult to always have it clean, but it really is necessary. The fridge needs to be wiped down and so does the stove and toaster. Please try not to leave any dirty dishes out. And most of all the bathtub must be clean everyday, including the jets in the tub which were brown. The key to selling to loft will be to have is clean and not cluttered. Paul is concerned with the clutter. We have a storage unit that you have access to if you want to move some of the things you aren't using up there. Or maybe you can tidy up the closet. The assets of the loft (tub, closet, size etc) aren't showing to there potential.
Again, I know that Paul is over the top, but he actually thinks that we have an easier time selling it if it were empty. Mike and I don't want that, we would much prefer to keep you there if possible. But the goal is to sell the loft as fast as possible. So let me know if you have a problem with any of this and we can talk about it. For now we will keep going with the month to month lease starting in November.
I appreciate your patience and efforts,
B
I like how "mess and clutter" is in parentheses, as if it's still an ALLEGED mess and clutter. And perhaps, if I get it cleaned up, it will be as if we never spoke of the mess and clutter in the first place. I spit in the face of this kind of humiliation.
And now - an FFA poll:
Tiney is, for the most part:
a) extremely clean and organized
b) is known to leave a towel on the floor on occasion
c) is a walking pigsty
Readers and friends, I let you be the judge.
# posted by Tiney @ 12:53 PM 
Comments:
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I mean, I vote A. But you've seen my desk. And my Room O' Boxes.
Having just spent the weekend with my OCD best friend, allow me to offer some tips:
Anything can be cleaned with a cocktail of water, bleach, and Fabuloso. What is Fabuloso? Why it's the hard core cleaner that the Mexican cleaning crew at Lakeland Regional Medical Center uses. Yes, she hunted them down and made them tell her what they use. It's probably illegal in the U.S., because one sniff will burn your nose hairs off.
The other tip is, tell Paul, "B", Mike and whomever else to get their fruity Connecticut asses down here and clean it themselves.
Having just spent the weekend with my OCD best friend, allow me to offer some tips:
Anything can be cleaned with a cocktail of water, bleach, and Fabuloso. What is Fabuloso? Why it's the hard core cleaner that the Mexican cleaning crew at Lakeland Regional Medical Center uses. Yes, she hunted them down and made them tell her what they use. It's probably illegal in the U.S., because one sniff will burn your nose hairs off.
The other tip is, tell Paul, "B", Mike and whomever else to get their fruity Connecticut asses down here and clean it themselves.
Tine, flip, I'm your wife. And even though there might be dust coatings on your full length mirror, I'm sure it doesn't compare to the Jewish paraphernalia that is scattered strategically about. Long live Lofty Tine!
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